The category “Ongoing Subjects” is dedicated to my own personal journey in life. This is my way of documenting things that really have impacted me in my life, things I feel passionate about, or things that are ongoing.
If you have comments on any of my subjects, please, feel free to comment on that blog. Feel free to send me an e-mail. I love to hear your feedback. If you’re inspired to do the same thing in your life, by all means, link me to your blog about it. This will probably be one of the more frequently updated categories, since it will contain my goals, my feelings, and other touchy-feely things.
Ongoing Subject: 30 Day Trial, June 2009.
I found the idea of the 30 day trial on a blog and I really liked it. The idea behind the 30 day trial is to get you into a set of habits without making it seem overwhelming and life-commiting. As Steve Pavlina puts it, its like “download[ing] a trial version of a piece of software… [to] try it out risk-free for 30 days before you’re required to buy the full version”. I really liked the idea of a thirty day trial, so I’ve devised my own list of things that I am going to try out for thirty days. Obviously this is an ongoing subject, since, in thirty days, I’ll be giving an update to my progress.
The Trial
Today is May 29th, so, to make things even, I’m going to start on June 1st. This way, on June 30th, I will report my progress, say with habits I want to keep and which ones I would like to toss, and how the overall idea of the trial worked for me.
The idea behind the trial is quite simple, actually. It’s a way to count down the days until you can do something again, while at the same time developing habits that will be hard to get out of. If you have ever tried to quit smoking (and if you haven’t, you should!), you know how the first few weeks are the hardest, but after you get over the natural habit to smoke, it’s easy to continue not giving yourself cancer. The same idea works for this– After the first few weeks, the trial will turn from something you are forcing yourself to do to something that you will just naturally do; a habit.
The Tasks
I have a lot of things I want to change about my life, and I’m hoping I won’t overload myself with trials, but here goes:
Get up at 7 every day. This one should be easy for me, since I work at 9 all throughout the week. I just feel like if I sleep past seven, I’m wasting my day away.
Write a new blog every day. This one will probably be the easiest. I’m going to post a tentative schedule sometime soon that will outline the subjects I would like to talk about as well as the dates I would like to do each subject on.
Run 20 minutes a day. I would like to be in great shape for Nikki’s Shortcut. That race means a lot to me, and I want to be in top shape.
No pop or coffee. I have a major addiction to caffeine and sugar, so this one will be hard. I don’t want to keep packing on the pounds, however, and cutting this from my diet, even if for just thirty days, will help.
Not leaving work early. This is mostly for J. Milito & Associates, since when I leave Triton (which pays 7.40/hour) I go directly to Milito’s (which pays 8/hour). I want to put in 68 hours a week minimum. That will be about five hundred dollars a week earned and in my pocket, which would be about two thousand dollars in the month of June.
Conclusion
I’d love to hear comments about this– If anyone would like to join me for the thirty day trial, please do! If you’ve got ideas for future trials, you can post them as well. On June 30th I will post a follow up entry to this and give the overall success (or failure) of the trial.
Between slaying vampires as Faithin Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, cheerleading in the movie-comedy Bring It On, and kicking ass as a doll named Echo in Dollhouse (don’t believe me? Click here), hit actress Eliza Dushku still finds time to stand up against hate in California.
After the California Supreme Court ruled against overturning Prop 8 in California, which banned gay marriage in the state, Eliza took part in a “No H8″ rally, as seen in the picture above, earning the “LGBT Best Friend Award” for May.
As Eliza’s twitter site shows, Eliza believes that the “Message must be OUT, marriage equality NOW” about marriage equality. She has also marched in anti-prop 8 rallies before in 2008 (whedon.info).
To see her appearance at the LA Gay and Lesbian Center, click here.
Ongoing Subject:Nikki Allen: An Asian, A Runner, A Best Friend.
The Girl: Nikki Allen was one of my best friends in High School. She had a locker next time mine our junior year of high school. We ran together at Cross Country practice. She sat next to me in Mrs. Maloney’s senior English class at River Valley. She came to my graduation party for three minutes just to say hi.
I met Nikki Allen in kindergarten, along with another life-long friend of mine, Olivia. We all grew up together at the Three Oaks Elementary School, but we didn’t really become friends until our sophomore year of high school.
I started off Cross Country because my friend Brianna somehow convinced me to. At the first practice, Foreman had Tricia, and Olivia all talk about how their experiences at running camp went. I remember thinking to myself that they were so stuck up and I would probably drop out, mostly because they didn’t ever talk to me. Boy, was I dead wrong.
During my sophomore year, Nikki, Tricia, and Olivia became some of my closest friends. We didn’t run together, by any means, because they were amazing and I was chunky, but we still hung out occasionally, and we all had a few classes together. By the next year, the four of us hung out on a semi-regular basis, and we did crazy things together. Nikki’s locker was next to mine our Junior year. I saw her every single day of that year, and never once though about how it would be if she was suddenly gone. The most annoying part about Nikki Allen wasn’t how good she was at running– It was the fact that she talked as loud as a mouse. You could be in a room that is completely quiet, and she would say something, and you would have to stare at her for a second, and then ask her to repeat it. It was so cute, and we made fun of her a lot for it, but she knew we loved her.
We went as a group to Prom our junior year. She didn’t have an official date, and instead went as friends with a German foreign exchange student. We all had fun regardless, and it was one of the best nights of our lives.
Nikki Allen was just that: Nikki Allen. You could never say Nikki and not say Allen right after it. That was her name, just like Johnny Cash and Queen Latifa. I’m not really sure when we started that, but it caught on quickly, and it stuck.
For the first year or so that I really got to know Nikki Allen, I thought she was Asian. Finally, we all brought it up one day, and we were shocked to find out that Nikki Allen was, in fact, not Asian at all; She was Irish! We quickly ignored her Irish roots, and from that day on, Nikki Allen was our Oriental-Asian-Chinese-Japanese friend. We talked about her secretly being a ninja, and she loved it. She had so much fun with it, she would wear chop sticks in her hair. She was our Asian Princess, and wouldn’t hesitate to go off on random chants in a foreign language that resembled a mix between Japanese and tongues.
We began to tan in February together, and it was quite interesting. While all the rest of us slowly began to bronze, Nikki Allen just turned a light shade of pink. Instead of buying a bottle of lotion, she would instead buy samples, which cost four dollars. We always told her she should just buy a bottle instead, but she never listened to us.
We graduated together this past spring, and we shared in the joy and the sadness of saying goodbye to our old life and hello to our new. She came to my graduation party for a total of two minutes, just to stop in and wish me a happy graduation. How many of your friends would do the same for you? She drove all the way to Bridgman just to say Happy Graduation and give me a hug, when gas prices were at their highest. That’s a true friend.
We began to tan in February together, and it was quite interesting. While all the rest of us slowly began to bronze, Nikki Allen just turned a light shade of pink. Instead of buying a bottle of lotion, she would instead buy samples, which cost four dollars. We always told her she should just buy a bottle instead, but she never listened to us.
We graduated together this past spring, and we shared in the joy and the sadness of saying goodbye to our old life and hello to our new. She came to my graduation party for a total of two minutes, just to stop in and wish me a happy graduation. How many of your friends would do the same for you? She drove all the way to Bridgman just to say Happy Graduation and give me a hug, when gas prices were at their highest. That’s a true friend.
She came to the Masquerade Ball to support the GSA. She didn’t look too bad, either– Nikki Allen, believe it or not, had a rockin’ Asian body. That was the last time I saw Nikki
Allen, I believe.
If I could go back to just one day and spend it with her, I would in a heartbeat. I miss her so much, and everything I do reminds me of her. She had such a big impact on my life, and I didn’t even realize it until it was too late. She showed us how we should live our lives, and how we shouldn’t take even a second for granted.
The Present: Nikki constantly wore a little turquoise cross around her neck, so I got a turquoise cross tattooed on my upper right arm, with her birthday, 7.8.90 above the cross and the day she passed away, 10.29.08, tattooed below it. It’s almost comforting knowing that so many people will now permanently remember Nikki. Two of my friends got tattoos of track shoes with a cross through it, with the day of the accident below it. Another friend got a picture of two interlocking hands with her necklace dangling below it. All of these things help keep Nikki alive in our hearts forever. We will never forget her, no matter how busy life gets. She’s almost lucky in this way; She’ll forever be with us, no matter what.
Nikki’s Shortcut: In memory of an amazing individual, Nikki’s Shortcut was devised. I will not only run in the race, but I am also volunteering to help organize the event. I think that Nikki would smile if she knew how much of an impact she had on everyone. My goal in doing this event is to not only get in shape, but also to help ease the pain her mom and family still have over her sudden death by showing them that Nikki left a huge hand print on everyone’s heart.
Edit 6/27/09: You can now link to this article by putting ” http://tinyurl.com/asiannik ” into your web browser. While you’re here, help support suicide prevention and click the “Help Now!” link on the right sidebar and rate the video; Showtime will donate a small amount to help prevent suicide.
I have an entire box filled with books and papers filled with LGBT knowledge. I have multiple notes from speakers, as well as an euphoria of references I can contact. So now I ask you. What do you want to know?
Over the next few months, my goal will be to answer at least three or four requests a week, as well as put a post or two of my own up. The requests can be anything, as long as it isn’t mean or hateful towards a certain group, or completely sexual question, such as asking how two men have sex, etc. Those questions can be found on one of thousands of hate sites or porn sites, so google it, and don’t waste our time.
Some things I do plan on talking about, mainly because they were very interesting to me when I learned about them, are listed below. These are just a few topics, and, like I said earlier, I am always up for inquiries, as well as disagreements on any subject. This is a highly controversial subject, and I expect people to disagree one way or another, but FLAMERS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. A flamer is someone who is only negative and hateful, and the comments will be deleted, and we will pay no attention to them. If the flamer continues, they will be reported.
* Psychology of Transgenders
* Psychology of Prejudice and Injustice of LGBT people
* Psychology of Homosexuality
* How to counter resistance in running a GSA
* Religion and Homosexuality
I will also talk about how to basically structure a Gay-Straight Alliance, as well as some fun activities that our members came up with. There will be another post based solely on groups that are LGBT friendly, as well as ways they can, and will, help your group.
A little background information on my group, I guess, for starters.
We were first known as the River Valley Gay-Straight Alliance, since our school district was called the River Valley School District. But before we even ever touch on that, let’s go back a year or so.
In my freshman year of high school, I came out on a youth group message board. The youth group was centered in the local Free Methodist Church. The group was lead by a couple, and their son and daughter both attended. They had created the message board in order to talk about controversial issues, and I made the biggest one of them all. A day or two after I had came out, the pastor of the Free Methodist Church came over to my house. Mind you, this was in November, and, if any of you have ever been through a winter in Michigan, it was COLD. He pulled me out to the back porch, and proceeded to tell me that there were books he could lend me that could help me “overcome” my feelings. He also asked me when I was going to tell my parents and how, as well as times to set up one-on-one counseling so he could “fix” me. I went along with it, and as soon as he left, I left the board, and after one heck of a fight, I got him to stop calling and sending letters to my house to my parents.
Now, a little background details on the Pastor. Him and his wife have three children, one of which was a year older than me, and, ironically enough, gay. His oldest actually started a GSA at the local college, and completely dismisses his father’s insane attempts at reforming him.
We jump ahead to the beginning of my senior year in high school. His daughter, who was a sophomore, just began dating a (you guessed it) girl in my grade. The girl was a 4.0 student, as well as top in sports and any other activities. When the pastor found out about their relationship, he pulled the girl from school, as well as banned anyone and everyone at the school from seeing her. Then, to make matters even worse, he went to the other girl’s mom and told her that her daughter was a lesbian. He had learned from his experience with me that he wasn’t going to have time to fool around, and he did all the damage in one felled swoop. In a matter of three days, a group of us staged a protest to be held in front of his church that Sunday. We bought poster board, and painted messages on it, such as “God Made Me Gay”, and “God Doesn’t Hate”. We marched around outside the church, all twenty high schoolers and one adult, and made our point. We weren’t going to sit around and let him push us around any longer.
The protest was a hit. The community gave nothing but support, and the next weekend we had a cookout and raised over 200 dollars for the group. 15 teenagers and 15 adults showed up, and we all spent over two hours talking about the future of the group. After that protest, the Pastor hasn’t dared show his face to any gay person.
The first official meeting of the group was held at a local theater. The owners had agreed to let us use it for the group for free. The group decided to change the name, since the group had already expanded to other school districts, and the Berrien County Gay Straight Alliance was born.
I think it is not only a good idea to write your goals down, but also to go over them every couple weeks to make sure you’re actually making progress reaching your goals. Goals should not just be things you want to achieve, goals should be things you should be working to achieve.
My Goals
Here are my top five goals right now, one in each aspect of life.
Goal One- Finances: I would like to save a thousand dollars by the end of this year. That would be about 37 dollars a week saved. Also, I’d like to have my car payments saved up for the first semester at Grand Valley.
Goal Two- Blog: I want to have my blog be a hit by the end of this year as well. I would like to have at least a hundred (hopefully more) people who regularly visit my site and actually value my opinions and suggestions.
Goal Three- College: I want to work really hard this semester at GVSU and get all A’s. I want to look good when I apply to Med School, and these classes are the classes that actually count towards my end goal.
Goal Four- Friends: I learned the hard way that time is short, and I don’t want another Nikki Allen on my hands. I want to stay in touch with the people who actually matter to me. I want to not regret losing touch with the people who made me who I am today. I obviously don’t think that I’ll be able to do this forever, but I can fight my hardest to not lose them.
Goal Five- Travel: I would really like to take another trip to Florida this year. Florida was amazing last year. I’ve learned that it’s easier to just get up and go as a young adult than as an adult with responsibilities and a full time job. Plus, trips help us appreciate life and breaks us away from the monotony of everyday life. As goals constantly are changing, assimilating, and evolving, this is an ongoing subject.
I will be periodically updating this section as my life changes, and I hope that I can inspire someone to do the same.
Thought Food is a section of my blog that is devoted to helping people think outside the box on subjects that are usually accepted on face value and never questioned. My goal, as a writer and a free thinker, is to help others become more self-sufficient, free thinking, and dependent on only themselves and the facts.
The Media has a huge impact on these. Advertisements, 24/7 news, radio… All of these impact the way we view the world. Take the recent swine flu ‘pandemic’ that most news stations went crazy about. Even now, there are a relatively low number of deaths, especially when compared to deaths caused by AIDS, the “regular” flu, and traffic accidents. Honestly, it’s a bit outrageous. Ladies at my job were up in arms about the pandemic, talking about the need to wear masks out in public.
Taking Things At Face Value
The people that annoy me the most are people who can be fed a bit of information and be completely convinced that that information is right without any type of proof or data to back up that information.
Recently, an acquaintance of mine from college was listening to a conversation a few friends and I were having about global warming. She butted in and said that she doesn’t buy global warming, that it doesn’t seem right to her. I replied in saying that it’s good of her to take her gut instinct over the strong recommendations of highly trained scientists, professors, and people who have a hundred times more experience and schooling than she does.
The theory of evolution is another good example. A theory, in the science community, is the closest thing that scientists accept as truth. It’s estimated that 99.9% of scientists accept evolution. I’m glad that people, such as most of the people from the small farming uber-christian town that I grew up in, can then say that those scientists, who are a million times more trained and educated then they are in these matters, are completely and totally wrong and some mystical magical force created everything.
Conclusion
Basically, I’m going to be choosing topics that I find obviously flawed and dissect them to their core. This way, you can take out what you will, knowing all the facts about the subjects, becoming the self-sufficient person you were meant to become.
It’s estimated that 42 million people have an abortion every year. About 3,700 abortions take place every day in the United States (www.agi-usa.org). And with the constant debate that rages between pro-life and pro-choice groups, here are some facts that are usually left out.
A big fact that surprised me was that “women identifying themselves as Protestants obtain 37.4% of all abortions in the U.S.; Catholic women account for 31.3%” (http://www.abortionno.org/Resources/fastfacts.html). One of the current anti-abortion groups are Notre Dame. When President Obama spoke at the Notre Dame Graduation class of 2009, a person even interrupted his speech yelling “Abortion is murder! Stop killing children!”
What I really don’t understand is the fact that there are thousands upon thousands of children in orphanages. If there were a shortage of children, I’d understand the rage and uproar that people cause. However, it’s quite the opposite. If people weren’t able to get abortions, most would put their children up for adoption. This means thousands and thousands of children flowing into already crowded and underfunded orphanages. It wouldn’t be a pretty picture. Crime would increase in those areas from kids who would act out in anger towards their situations.
As Neil Steinburg puts it in his article on Abortion in the sun times, “Stealing is bad, and religion speaks against it, but no congregation ever took to the streets to protest theft.” The same thing is true for gay marriage- There is only a few key verses that even mention gay marriage, yet most religious groups think it’s the sin of all sins. Even saying that “Abortion is Murder” in insidious. Murder in the last trimester, yeah. But when a baby is only sixteen cells? No. When a baby doesn’t have a brain or a hearbeat? No.
My own personal opinion on the subject is this; if you don’t want to get an abortion, don’t. It’s none of your concern who gets an abortion and who doesn’t. It’s none of your business. Leave your nose out of everyone’s business. Period.
So here it is to the Catholics: Spend your money and time on adopting children. Keep away from saving children until you have somewhere to put them, families who want them, and money to support them. Growing up in a home where you know you’re an accident isn’t a self esteem booster, we all know that.
Is it a fireman? How about a police officer? Your mom or dad, perhaps?
People who risk their lives often come to mind first. But what if I told you my hero was a completely normal person, who never really did anything risky, and really only talked?
In my opinion, a good artist can change the world more than anyone else.
Have you ever heard a song that moves you? A song that brings you back to a completely different place and time? Maybe it makes you feel relaxed, sympathetic, or makes your heart skip a beat?
Can a song really change the world?
I think it can.
Without music, without a way to express our feelings, we would be emotionally dead. How often do you listen to music? It’s often them you think. The radio in your car. On television. In stores. At your workplace. It’s almost impossible to get away from music.
Why is that?
Music moves us. It gives us hope. It inspires us. When you are down, a good song helps to bring you back to normal. Music helps us to love. Words are underestimated. Sticks and stones will break bones, and words can hurt just as badly. But words can also change the life of a person. Music is encouragement at it’s roots. I can honestly say that without music, I would not be what I am today. Music helps to inspire me and my writing. It brightens up my day, and helps me to keep going when I’m down in the dumps.
So don’t disreguard me when I say my hero is a person who just likes to sing for a living. Who is your hero?
